Over that Hill.

Writing is rough for me. It always has been. Half of it is finding the motivation to pick up and push straight through. The other part of the problem is that I don't write fluffy things; when I sit down to write, I have to cut in, I bleed. The words come that way. [I know what you're thinking. In my case though, it's all metaphor. I don't really cut myself, but that is sure what it feels like.] Putting my characters through everything is personal torture. You have no idea.

I try to have some sort of message, I guess, so that people won't feel as if they have wasted their time. I need some redeeming qualities, because I need to pull myself out of that hole too. When I write heavy stuff, I'm sucked into it. I get sad. I cry. If there is a message, it's a light. I have something to say that is worth saying.

Tetra has been really rough and difficult to write. As I get deeper into it, I find hidden meanings, new things that have created themselves. I become more attached to these people and their pains. I bleed for them and their story is told. I know that this has only started one of many hills I'll have to hike through before I get to the end. And even after the end, I have to backtrack. I need to fix the beginning. It's terrible. My brain hurts to think about it.

But I will get there. Even now, I'm devising ways to deal with my blocks. Adele [a friend] and I decided that whenever we get stuck on our respective novels, we draw melodramatic and lame comics about our characters until we get so sick of it, we have to keep writing. I noticed that whenever I read about a particularly sobering event in history, I need to write. It just comes to me.

I think my next project will be historical fiction. Oh snap... (: